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Forever Families

Why Breakups Are Hard and What You Can Do About It

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Latter-Day Saints Perspective

We learn from the Bible about how “the first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife” (Genesis 1:28; The Family, 1995). Maybe that’s why pursuing romantic relationships is so normal for most young people.1,3 But whether you’re still in the dating phase of life or it’s long behind you, chances are you’ve experienced mental distress from the end of a romantic relationship.8 Breakups can be downright traumatic!2,4,6,9-13 That’s why it’s so important to understand the effects of a breakup and how to work through the feelings that follow one.

This article specifically addresses breakups and mental distress experienced by emerging adults. Emerging adults are young adults between the ages 18-25.1 This age group is different in maturity from teenagers or older adults,1,5 so the principles shared may not apply to other age groups.

Negative Effects of a Breakup

A lot of negative emotions tend to come up after a breakup.2-4,6-9,13 This is both normal and understandable. The problem is if you don’t process these emotions in healthy ways, they can trigger more mental distress in the long term.4,8-9,13 According to the most recent research, these are some of the most common symptoms experienced by emerging adults after a breakup:

  • Depressive feelings such as loss and helplessness4,8-9,13
  • Emotional distress through anxiety and avoidance4,6-7,9-10
  • Reminiscing and partner monitoring that delay recovery2-4,8,13

Let’s break those down a little more.

Depressive Feelings

Many things can cause depressive feelings, and breakups are certainly one of them.2, 4, 6-10, 12 Depressive feelings usually include extreme sadness and helplessness.8, 13 The helplessness in this case comes from not being able to do anything to save the lost relationship.3 If you dwell on this sense of loss and helplessness too long, it can start to affect how you think about life.4, 8-9

If left unresolved for too long, depressive feelings can cause mental health problems and potentially lead to suicidal tendencies.2, 8, 10, 13 That’s why it’s so important to recognize when you’re experiencing these depressive feelings and find healthy ways to work through them. If these feelings seem to be sticking around for a while, consider seeking support from family, friends, or a counselor.

Emotional Distress

Given how much emotional investment relationships often take, emotional distress after a breakup is completely natural.4, 6-7, 9-10 People will often feel more irritable, have difficulty concentrating, and cry a lot after a breakup.8-10 It comes in part because you’ve been rejected by someone who once valued you.6, 10, 11 People with lower self-esteem are especially vulnerable to these feelings.4, 10

This emotional distress can be fed by feelings of anxiety, making the effects more painful and enduring.4, 6-7, 9-10 Many young adults tend to try coping with anxious feelings through avoidance.4, 7 Avoidant coping methods basically distract you from your pain and attempt to distance you from whatever is causing it.4, 6, 10, 13 Doing so usually just makes the situation worse.4, 6, 13 It’s much healthier in the long run to face and accept these feelings rather than avoiding them. Counselling can be an invaluable resource to help you do so.

Reminiscing and Partner Monitoring

As was previously mentioned, your desire may be to avoid thinking about the pain a breakup creates.4, 7 However, you may find yourself at the other end of the spectrum: you can’t stop thinking about the breakup. Reminiscent thoughts about a lost romantic relationship can be bad for your mental health as well.4, 7, 9-10, 13 This is especially true if it leads to monitoring your ex-partner through methods like social media.2, 6-7

Monitoring your ex-partner through social media can range from innocent observation to intentional harassment.2, 6 This form of harassment is commonly called cyberbullying.2, 6 It involves anything from posting embarrassing things about them to blatantly threatening them.2, 6 This level of monitoring is never okay! It can trigger mental-emotional damage for both you and your ex-partner.2, 6

You may never engage in such a severe level of partner monitoring. However, any kind of monitoring through social media usually delays recovery from a breakup.2, 6 It is wise to avoid using social media to dwell on past relationships.2, 6-7, 9 If you do choose to keep following your ex-partner through social media, pay attention to the effects it may have on your mental health.

Ways to Lessen Breakup Distress

Of course, there are certain factors that can lessen the negative effects of a breakup.8, 10 One important thing that helps is having a strong support system of family or friends to fall back on.10 This support system can also include finding a new significant other.10, 12 Having someone else to turn to for emotional aid when a romantic relationship ends is a key to mental health recovery.10

Another thing that helps is if you have higher levels of resiliency and optimism.8, 10 These attributes help you to bounce back from a breakup and view both the past and the future with more hopefulness.6, 8, 10 As mentioned earlier, having a healthy sense of self-esteem can also aid in recovering your mental health.4, 10 These three things deal with how you see yourself in the context of the breakup as well as moving forward. Minimizing a breakup’s negative effects can include increasing these attributes in yourself.

Finally, the level of investment and commitment you had in the relationship has a great effect on your mental health after a breakup.2, 6,-8, 11 Commitment is an important part of relationships in general, but especially romantic ones. The more invested you are in a relationship, the harder it is to recover from it ending.2, 6-8

A Brief Summary and Final Note

Breakups can be really awful. They often trigger mental distress through depressive feelings,2, 4, 6-10, 12 emotional anxiety,4, 6-7, 9-10 and lonely reminiscing.4, 7, 9-10, 13 It’s important to recognize these symptoms of distress so you can keep them from affecting your mental health in the long-term. Healthy resources for coping with these symptoms can include counselling, social support from friends and family,10, 12 an increase in your self-esteem,7, 10, 12 the development of more resiliency and optimism,8, 10 and a careful examination of your investment in a relationship. A combination of these resources can help you recover your mental health after a breakup.

While they are often painful, breakups aren’t inherently bad. In fact, if you’re in an abusive relationship or simply one with the wrong person, they can be a good thing. Breakups in these situations actually start you on the road to recovering your mental health. Learning to recover well from breakups can make you strong and prepare you for when you do find the right relationship, one that will last.

Written by Elise Clements, edited by Professors Julie Haupt and Stephen F. Duncan, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. September 13, 2019.

References

  1. Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469-479.
  2. Belu, C. F., Lee, B. H., & O'Sullivan, L. F. (2016). It hurts to let you go: Characteristics of romantic relationships, breakups and the aftermath among emerging adults. Journal of Relationships Research, 7, 11. doi:10.1017/jrr.2016.11
  3. Collibee, C., & Furman, W. (2015). Quality counts: Developmental shifts in associations between romantic relationship qualities and psychosocial adjustment. Child Development, 86(5), 1639-1652.
  4. Chung, M. C., & Hunt, L. J. (2014). Posttraumatic stress symptoms and well-being following relationship dissolution: Past trauma, alexithymia, suppression. Psychiatric Quarterly, 85(2), 155-176.
  5. Davey, C. G., Yucel, M., & Allen, N. B. (2008). The emergence of depression in adolescence: Development of the prefrontal cortex and the representation of reward. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 32(1), 1-19. doi:10.1016/j.neubiorev.2007.04.016
  6. Foshay, J., & O'Sullivan, L. (2019). Coping and unwanted pursuit behaviours following breakups in young adulthood. Journal of Relationships Research, 10, E3. doi:10.1017/jrr.2018.23
  7. Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Romantic partner monitoring after breakups: Attachment, dependence, distress, and post-dissolution online surveillance via social networking sites. CyberPsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 18(9), 491-498. doi:10.1089/cyber.2015.0123
  8. Gilbert, S., & Sifers, S. (2011). Bouncing back from a breakup: Attachment, time perspective, mental health, and romantic loss. Journal of College Student Psychotherapy, 25(4), 295-310.
  9. Lukacs, V., & Quan-Haase, A. (2015). Romantic breakups on Facebook: New scales for studying post-breakup behaviors, digital distress, and surveillance. Information, Communication & Society, 18(5), 492-508. doi:10.1080/1369118X.2015.1008540
  10. O'Sullivan, L. F., Hughes, K., Talbot, F., & Fuller, R. (2019). Plenty of fish in the ocean: How do traits reflecting resiliency moderate adjustment after experiencing a romantic breakup in emerging adulthood? Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 1-14. doi:10.1007/s10964-019-00985-5
  11. Rhoades, G. K., Kamp Dush, C. M., Atkins, D. C., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Breaking up is hard to do: The impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(3), 366-374. doi:10.1037/a0023627
  12. Simon, R. W., & Barrett, A. E. (2010). Nonmarital romantic relationships and mental health in early adulthood: Does the association differ for women and men? Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51(2), 168-182.
  13. Studley, B., & Chung, M. C. (2015). Posttraumatic stress and well-being following relationship dissolution: Coping, posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms from past trauma, and traumatic growth. Journal of Loss & Trauma, 20(4), 317-335.
  14. The Family: A Proclamation to the World (1995). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/study/manual/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

We learn from the Bible about how “the first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife” (Genesis 1:28; The Family, 1995). Maybe that’s why having romantic relationships is such a natural behavior for so many people.1,3 By young adulthood, most people have either been in or are in a romantic relationship.2-3,8,10-11 Unfortunately, not all of these relationships will last.8 Many will end with breakups, which can cause a lot of mental and emotional distress.2,4,6,910-13 This article focuses on the signs of this post-breakup distress for emerging adults and how you or those you know can positively work through that distress.

You may not have heard the term “emerging adults” before. Emerging adulthood is the period of development from age 18 to age 25.1 Emerging adults are different from teenagers. They have more developed brains, more self-control, and more skills with having complex relationships than teenagers do.1,5

Young adults are also more likely to anticipate long-term commitment in romantic relationships.3,8 Certain behaviors of emerging adults tend to encourage this expectation. These can include being in the relationship for a long time, talking about marriage, or even getting engaged.3,8 Having these behaviors in a relationship isn’t necessarily bad. However, having this kind of expectation can make breakups particularly distressful, even if the breakup is for the best.

Of course, certain factors can make breakups less distressful for emerging adults.8,10 Those who are more resilient usually suffer less from the negative effects of a breakup.6,8,10 They are able to view both their past and future with optimism.6,8,10 Young adults also experience less of a decline in mental health if they have strong social support.10 This can be in the form of close friends, family, or even a new significant other.10,12

The level of breakup distress also depends on how invested a young adult was in the relationship.2,6,-8,11 The more committed to and invested in the relationship they were, the more they struggled with the breakup.2,6-8 Interestingly, gender is currently shown to have no significant effect on how distressed emerging adults were post-breakup.2,6,10 Still, while some things lessen the effects of breakups,2,6,8,10 most young adults normally experience some level of distress from them.2,4,6,9-13

Breakups often create a lot of emotional and mental pain. 2,4,6,910-13 Left unresolved, they can have lasting influence on the mental health of emerging adults.4,8-9,13 These are some of the specific symptoms that can occur:

  • Depressive feelings such as loss and helplessness4,8-9,13
  • Emotional distress through anxiety and avoidance4,6-7,9-10
  • Reminiscing and partner-monitoring that delays recovery2-4,8,13

Let’s take a closer look at these symptoms and ways to work through them.

Depressive Feelings

Many things can cause depressive feelings, but young adults often feel them specifically after breakups.2,4,6-10,12 These feelings can come from feeling helpless and unable to do anything to save the relationship.3,8,13 This is especially true for those who did not initiate the breakup.2,9,11 Depressive feelings can also include a sense of loss and grief.4,8-9 These feelings come from no longer enjoying the benefits of the ended relationship.3

If left unaddressed for too long, depressive feelings can do long-term damage to mental health.4,8-9,13 In some cases, they can potentially lead to suicidal tendencies.2,8,10 Romantic breakups are actually the leading cause of suicide for young adults.2 It’s really important to properly work through depressive feelings early on. Watch for these feelings in yourself or others who have recently experienced a breakup. If they seem to be lingering for a while after, consider seeking support from family, friends, or a counselor.8,10,12

Emotional Distress

Similarly to depressive feelings, the emotional distress young adults usually experience from breakups can hurt their mental health.4,6-7,9-10 Emotionally-distressed young adults often experience irritability, crying, difficulty concentrating, and other similar mood disruptions.8-10 The level of distress they feel emotionally in part depends on their level of self-esteem.4,10 Emerging adults with low self-esteem are more greatly affected by breakups than those with higher self-esteem.7,10,12 In either case though, their self-esteem is often damaged because they have been rejected by someone who once valued them.6,10,11

Feelings of anxiety produced by a breakup can also contribute to emotional distress.4,6-7,9-10 Young adults often use avoidant coping methods to distract or distance themselves from their anxious feeling and emotional pain.4,7 Unfortunately, this leaves their pain unresolved and can make it worse.4,6,13 Learn to recognize if you or others are using these coping methods. Try to find healthy ways to face and accept these feelings rather than avoiding them. Once again, counselling can be an invaluable source of help with this.

Reminiscing and Partner Monitoring

As mentioned before, some emerging adults make great efforts to avoid confronting how they feel about a breakup.4,7 However, others have trouble with not thinking about their feelings and letting them go.2,4,7,9-10 Many young adults find themselves, intentionally or not, reminiscing about the past relationship and how much they wish it hadn’t ended. 4,7,9-10,13 This is especially true if they are not the ones who initiated the breakup.6-7

Nowadays, this kind of rumination is commonly accompanied by monitoring the ex-partner through social media.2,6-7,9 Young adults seem to be drawn to looking at what their ex-partner is doing now. Seeing that their ex-partner may be happy without them can be especially aggravating. Depending on the person and the situation, partner monitoring may be harmful for someone trying to work through a romantic breakup.2,6-7

Partner monitoring can range in severity from simply observing the ex-partner’s activity or sending them occasional messages to intentionally harassing them.2,6 Some young adults go too far and engage in the cyberbullying of their ex-partner.2,6 Cyberbullying can include posting humiliating photos of their ex-partner, insulting them, or even threatening them.2,6 This kind of behavior is never acceptable. Such actions can harm the mental health of both people involved and can lead to further violence.2,6

While cyberbullying will obviously damage mental health, even the more innocent forms of partner monitoring can too.2,6 Recent studies show partner monitoring and reminiscent thoughts typically lengthen the time it takes emerging adults to adjust to a breakup.2,6-7,9 That time means more of a delay in mental health recovery as well. 2,6-7,9 It is wise to avoid using social media to dwell on past relationships. 2,6-7,9

In Conclusion

Seeking out romantic relationships is a normal tendency for most emerging adults.1,3 However, romantic breakups typically cause a lot of mental and emotional distress.2,4,6,9-13 Losing a relationship often creates depressive feelings that, if left unchecked, may lead to suicidal tendencies.2,8,10,13 Emotional distress usually grows out of anxiety and lowered self-esteem.4,6-7,9-10 Recovery from these symptoms is frequently delayed by lonely reminiscing and online monitoring of their ex-partner.4,6-7,9-10,13

Working through these symptoms and adjusting positively to romantic breakups is important for the recovery of mental health.4,8-9,13 Seek help from others or from counselling services when needed.8,10,12 If you know someone who is struggling with a breakup, offer them your support. Don’t let one breakup ruin your hope for happiness. Look to the future and take the time to heal.

Written by Elise Clements, edited by Professors Julie Haupt and Stephen F. Duncan, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. September 13, 2019.

References

  1. Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469-479.
  2. Belu, C. F., Lee, B. H., & O'Sullivan, L. F. (2016). It hurts to let you go: Characteristics of romantic relationships, breakups and the aftermath among emerging adults. Journal of Relationships Research, 7, 11. doi:10.1017/jrr.2016.11
  3. Collibee, C., & Furman, W. (2015). Quality counts: Developmental shifts in associations between romantic relationship qualities and psychosocial adjustment. Child Development, 86(5), 1639-1652.
  4. Chung, M. C., & Hunt, L. J. (2014). Posttraumatic stress symptoms and well-being following relationship dissolution: Past trauma, alexithymia, suppression. Psychiatric Quarterly, 85(2), 155-176.
  5. Davey, C. G., Yucel, M., & Allen, N. B. (2008). The emergence of depression in adolescence: Development of the prefrontal cortex and the representation of reward. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 32(1), 1-19. doi:10.1016/j.neubiorev.2007.04.016
  6. Foshay, J., & O'Sullivan, L. (2019). Coping and unwanted pursuit behaviours following breakups in young adulthood. Journal of Relationships Research, 10, E3. doi:10.1017/jrr.2018.23
  7. Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Romantic partner monitoring after breakups: Attachment, dependence, distress, and post-dissolution online surveillance via social networking sites. CyberPsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 18(9), 491-498. doi:10.1089/cyber.2015.0123
  8. Gilbert, S., & Sifers, S. (2011). Bouncing back from a breakup: Attachment, time perspective, mental health, and romantic loss. Journal of College Student Psychotherapy, 25(4), 295-310.
  9. Lukacs, V., & Quan-Haase, A. (2015). Romantic breakups on Facebook: New scales for studying post-breakup behaviors, digital distress, and surveillance. Information, Communication & Society, 18(5), 492-508. doi:10.1080/1369118X.2015.1008540
  10. O'Sullivan, L. F., Hughes, K., Talbot, F., & Fuller, R. (2019). Plenty of fish in the ocean: How do traits reflecting resiliency moderate adjustment after experiencing a romantic breakup in emerging adulthood? Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 1-14. doi:10.1007/s10964-019-00985-5
  11. Rhoades, G. K., Kamp Dush, C. M., Atkins, D. C., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Breaking up is hard to do: The impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(3), 366-374. doi:10.1037/a0023627
  12. Simon, R. W., & Barrett, A. E. (2010). Nonmarital romantic relationships and mental health in early adulthood: Does the association differ for women and men? Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51(2), 168-182.
  13. Studley, B., & Chung, M. C. (2015). Posttraumatic stress and well-being following relationship dissolution: Coping, posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms from past trauma, and traumatic growth. Journal of Loss & Trauma, 20(4), 317-335.
  14. The Family: A Proclamation to the World (1995). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/study/manual/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Since the beginning of the Restoration, God’s prophets have emphasized that one of our primary goals in life should be eternal marriage. Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught that “the most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority”.1 So when romantic relationships end painfully, it can be particularly difficult for young adults to cope with the emotional distress.

However, the gospel of Jesus Christ can help all young adults to overcome the difficulties often associated with breakups, especially from highly committed relationships.

Trust in God’s Plan

For a young adult seeking to follow God’s path for them, it can be confusing to understand why they would feel prompted to date a person and then to break up. It can be helpful for young adults to remember that because marriage is such a high priority of our Heavenly Parents for each of their children, they will absolutely guide each one along the path for their eternal well-being. Healing takes time, but as you continue to seek out God’s light and reassurance that you are doing the right thing, you can find peace.

One woman, in recounting the story of her worst breakup in the Ensign, testified, “Many of us yearn for an explanation when we receive difficult promptings. From my experience, I learned that faith in the Lord can help us remain obedient without knowing the why. As we trust in an all-knowing God, we can feel peace in our decisions to act on promptings until we do receive the ‘additional knowledge’ He has promised the faithful.”2

Adversity is Part of Life

The Lord has promised repeatedly that “nobody will be denied the blessings of eternal family relationships if you love the Lord, keep His commandments, and just do the best you can.”3 So if it seems that you have hit a barrier to receiving these blessings, trust that your time will come. Everybody has to face adversity and the Lord has promised to send us strength and comfort according to our faith so that we can overcome our difficulties and reach the blessings he has promised.

The road to this lasting peace, although possible for every person, will not necessarily be smooth. The Savior himself, while experiencing all of our temptations, pains, and sorrows, had to “tremble because of pain…and to suffer both body and spirit” in complete loneliness (D&C 19:18), “being in agony” (Luke 22:44), and at one point even asking Heavenly Father to “remove this cup” (Luke 22:42) from Him if it were possible. Understanding the vast suffering of Jesus Christ makes it easier to understand why each person seeking His enduring peace is not immune to pain, and in fact must walk a few of those painful steps through Gethsemane that he once trod. Healing is not a rose-lined path of ease and comfort, but a mentally and emotionally challenging, refining fire that requires individuals to reach out from the depths of their souls and partake of just a little of the bitter cup Christ so willingly drank.

In teaching of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin testified, “Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come.”4

The transition from Friday to Sunday may feel more like a long and winding roller coaster than a straight track: there will be days of newly rekindled anger, then periods of peace, then more periods of difficulty and conflict. But remember that this difficult and convoluted road has been travelled before. Healing through the Atonement of Jesus Christ comes through pain and grief, not in spite of or without it. This intense grief can bring about an equal measure of joy and peace as you continue along this path in faith, in spite of the difficulties.

Depression and the Gospel of Jesus Christ

Depression can be one of the adversities in life most difficult to understand. Even for faithful members of the church, it is not uncommon to suffer some form of depression following a difficult breakup. This can make feeling the Spirit and seeking out Heavenly Father’s direction more complicated. “Depression, in all forms, alters perception, making it difficult to feel peace, love, joy, or any of the fruits of the Spirit. It becomes easy to misinterpret sorrow as condemnation by God…It is essential to understand that such a spiritual crisis is not a result of spiritual weakness or lack of faith. Rather, depressive feelings and the resulting depressed view of one’s spirituality are usually caused by a chemical imbalance.”5

Referring to unexpected mental and emotional challenges, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor.”6

Through the gospel of Jesus Christ, young adults facing these difficulties can be certain of God’s love for them and have faith that the Savior “fully comprehends the pain and struggle that many experience as they live with a broad range of mental health challenges. He suffered ‘pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; . . . [taking] upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people’ (Alma 7:11; emphasis added). He suffered ‘the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children’ (2 Nephi 9:21; see also Hebrews 4:15–16).”7 If feelings of depression continue for an extended period of time, young adults can greatly benefit from professional counseling or attending a support group with people going through similar struggles. The emotional and mental damage inflicted by abusive relationships can take a long time to overcome, and these external resources can be a great source of healing.

Move Forward with Faith

If you have felt prompted to end a relationship, or if your significant other has, hold fast to that revelation and trust that the Lord will continue to lead you to where you need to go. Follow the counsel of the prophets and pray to feel Heavenly Father’s love for you. President Dieter F, Uchtdorf stated, “Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone. If you ever feel your burden is too great to bear, lift your heart to your Heavenly Father, and He will uphold and bless you. He says to you, as He said to Joseph Smith, ‘[Your] adversity and [your] afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if [you] endure it well, God shall exalt [you] on high.’”8

Remember that whether you feel you deserve it or not, God’s love is always there for you. “If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.”9

Resources Available to Latter-day Saints:

  • https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/mentalhealth
  • Talk with your Relief Society president, Elder’s Quorum president, Bishop, ministers, or fellow ward members for support
  • Continue to live the commandments, including the Word of Wisdom to keep your body healthy, which will in turn help your mind.

Written by Madelyn C. Panah, edited by Denhi Chaney, MFT, and Stephen F. Duncan, professor in the School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. November 12, 2019.

References

  1. Mcconkie, B. R. (February, 1973). Agency or inspiration—which? BYU Speeches.
  2. DeTavis, H. (October, 2018). My worst breakup was actually one of my greatest blessings. Church Magazines.
  3. Oaks, D. H. (May, 2007). Ensign.
  4. Wirthlin, J. B. (October, 2006). Sunday will Come.
  5. Clayson, R. J. (February, 2016). Depression.
  6. Holland, J. R. (October, 2013). Like a broken vessel.
  7. Holland, J. R. Mental health. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
  8. Uchtdorf, D. F. (April, 2010). Your happily ever after.
  9. Holland, J. R. (October, 2013). Like a broken vessel.