Negative Media Messaging: Adolescent Girls and Self-Objectification

“If you wouldn't invite a person into your home to have dinner with your family, then her picture doesn't belong in your child's hands or on your family's TV or computer screen.”²²

Daily, children as young as five years old are exposed to an average of almost 11 hours of various media content such as music, video games, and television.²⁶ Though not all media is bad, its high prevalence may prove detrimental as our youth struggle to escape the pervasive, toxic influence of sexual and objectifying content within some media.^{1, 23} Those studying the effects of sexual media have found a common theme aimed at women – objectification.¹ Girls who view objectifying behavior from media or peers may have a higher risk of self-objectifying.¹ Self-objectification has been linked to many negative problems including body shame^{12, 31} or dissatisfaction²⁷, eating disorders^{12, 23, 25}, and depression.^{12, 23, 31, 25}

Objectification and Adolescent Girls

In an important study, Objectification was found to have three elements:¹²

• Objectification is when a woman’s individuality and identity are viewed by others as unimportant, leaving other’s perception of her as only physical body parts to be acted upon or looked at.¹²

• Sexual objectification is when a woman’s body is viewed and valued by others for its sexual or physical attractiveness.^{1, 12}

• Self-Objectification is when a woman internalizes objectifying messages, leading her to constantly monitor her appearance and compare herself to others. Furthermore, she may believe her value is tied to how she looks, rather than the content of her character. ^{1, 8, 12, 23}

Women (and girls) are objectified when media use their looks, rather than personality or talents, to find romance or success.^{1, 12} Furthermore, media platforms may vary in how they broadcast objectifying messages. For example, television or social media often focus on images and songs use lyrics. As sexual media and its objectifying content become more common and are reinforced through television shows, friends, or other peers at school, girls may watch and begin to internalize (believe) a clear message – they are only as valuable as their looks.³³

Peer Influence in Television

On average, American adolescents consume 4.5 hours of television a day, making it one of the most common sources of media exposure.²⁶ According to TV Parental Guidelines, youth television shows rated TV-PG or TV-14 may contain various amounts of suggestive dialogue or non-explicit sexual situations, ranging from “some” to “intense” levels.³² One study found the following percentages of sexual content in youth-oriented shows on television.

• 83% of adolescent shows portrayed at least one sexual behavior.²⁰
• 2% portrayed attractive youth talking about their own and other’s sexual actions or interests.²⁰
• 6% displayed intimate touching that was not kissing.²⁰

Interestingly, the same study reported the frequency of sexual talk and behavior in some teen shows is comparable to those in adult shows.²⁰ This contradiction may leave parents unsure of exactly how much sexual content is being portrayed in teen media. Furthermore, youth may also watch adult shows, which may also increase their exposure to sexual or objectifying content.²⁰

Social Cognitive Theory (SCT), the way people seek social know-how from others,³ may help explain why some youth perceive parents or other adults as “out of touch” and instead choose to look to others at school or on television who are the same age, more “popular”, or physically attractive to imitate. If girls believe sexual behavior or objectification of women in reality shows is “realistic” or normal, they may imitate characters who are rewarded for such behavior^{6, 36} or begin to self-objectify.^{31, 34} Television shows may also reinforce objectification or sexual behavior through the studio audience.²⁰

Objectification or sexual behaviors may be reinforced in television shows in the following examples:

• Studio audiences laugh or cheer when a character makes a sexual or objectifying comment.²⁰ For example, if youth hear laughter after an objectifying innuendo or comment, they may assume making appearance-based comments towards women are harmless or socially appropriate.²⁰ Furthermore, TV characters casually talking about sex or engaging in sexual behavior may normalize these behaviors to youth.⁶

• Women or girls dress to draw attention to their bodies and are applauded by supporting characters. For example, a show’s plot may focus on a female character who gets a make-over and is instantly noticed by the “popular” boy, who now wants to get to know her. This may encourage girls to believe their appearance, rather than their character, is more important when seeking romance.

Friendship and Peer Influence

Girls may be more likely to believe behaviors on TV if they see classmates being rewarded for similar behavior. As boys and girls interact more at school and desires for romance begin, girls may feel peer pressure to look a certain way to impress or attract a boy’s attention.^{14, 7} Girls may then become insecure as they compare their bodies to others,^9,13,16 participate in appearance-based conversations^{12, 14,16} and are complimented or criticized by peers on their looks.^{8, 10, 15, 17, 30, 31}

Whether they know it or not, girls may measure personal success or value through comparing themselves to others,¹¹ especially their looks.¹⁸ Comparisons to peers, specifically those deemed “popular”, may be highly influential because youth may perceive their dress or behavior as what it takes to “fit in”.^{8, 31, 18} It is most harmful if a girl compares herself to another who believes in or reflects the media’s “thin” ideal or promotes sexual behavior. Furthermore, youth who internalize media ideals, monitor their bodies, and value physical appearance over bodily competence may be more likely to continue these negative behavior and thought patterns into emerging adulthood.³⁵

Sticks and Stones: Appearance-Based Conversation

Appearance-based conversations with classmates have also been linked to poor body image and media internalization.¹⁷ Criticism and teasing from peers encouraged body shame.^{17, 30} Interestingly, compliments also have been linked to body comparisons and self-objectification.³⁰ This could be because both negative and positive comments draw attention to a girl’s body. This makes sense as girls who had appearance-based conversations with friends, such as about clothes and makeup³¹ or their bodies, more often compared their bodies to other’s¹⁷ and had higher levels of media internalization¹⁷ and self-objectification than those who did not. ³¹

Despite media messaging aimed at youth, parents can counter and protect through their words and actions.¹³ The following suggestions can help parents fortify their daughters against negative media and peer pressure.

Use Positive, Non-Appearance Based Language

Mothers and daughters should be aware of the “morality of orality”.¹³ This is when mothers talk and act on their personal “good” v. “bad” feelings about themselves or food and can be very harmful to their child. Mothers who often talk negatively about their bodies may reinforce to their daughters that a woman’s value is placed in her appearance. For example a mother might say, “It was bad that I ate that whole hamburger so now I am not going to eat dessert,” or “I’m lucky your dad still likes me even though I’m overweight.” Mother-daughter appearance-based conversations can be as harmful as appearance-based conversations with peers and may teach youth their value is based on their looks.

Because compliments also have power to reinforce good or bad habits, we should tell our children how much we love them and emphasize their talents rather than focusing on their appearance. This helps build greater confidence and shifts the focus onto what matters most.¹³ Anea Bogue, founder of the empowerment program REALgirl, challenges parents to “balance our compliments about a girl’s appearance with compliments about who she is and what she DOES in the world.”¹³ She also says we should use positive language with every woman or girl we have in our lives, not just our daughters.¹³ Expressing to our children how much we value them and emphasizing their capabilities helps build greater confidence and shifts the focus onto what matters most.

Encourage Embodying Experiences and Self-Care

Encouraging participation in embodying²⁴ extracurricular activities such as sports, music, art, or academics gives youth an opportunity to use their bodies to create, cultivate, and appreciate their talents while making good friends.^{13, 21} An embodying experience can be anything that helps our children acquire new skills and develop their talents rather than focusing on looks.²⁴ “There’s a very common correlation, in my experience,” says Bogue, “between girls who play team sports and girls who suffer less with low self-esteem because they are looking…within [for value], as opposed to looking to boys for validation.”¹³ Bogue specifically advises fathers to not treat their daughters like a damsel in distress. “Instead, give her the opportunity and the tools—to change her own tire, to use her voice and speak up for herself, to play sports, to be able to brush herself off and get back up.”¹³ Many churches, non-profit organizations and cities sponsor youth clubs that can provide activities which incorporate healthy recreation.

As parents, we can teach healthy living and self-care¹⁹ in our home and make it a family effort. Ideas include eating nutritious meals, spending time together outside moving our bodies, and having good hygene.²¹ To aide with teaching, compare a body to a car, cell phone, or other machine to help them understand our bodies are special tools and need to be taken care of to work properly and make us happy. Developing positive self-care habits such as good hygiene and responding to hunger, thirst, or tiredness will help us feel clean, “recharge” our batteries, fuel us for the day, and avoid burnout.

Talk one on one with your child about the changes their body will go through once they begin puberty.^{16, 21} Hearing this information from a loving source can let your child know they can come to you if they have any questions rather than the media or peers.¹⁶ Many online resources or books give guidance on how to have these discussions. Some are listed below.

Lead By Example and Encourage Media Literacy

Since youth tend to act upon what they see rather than what they hear, it is important we are an example to our children of self-love, positive body image, and individual worth.^{19, 29} Because youth can sense our personal insecurities, “the degree to which parents have resolved their own questions of personal self-esteem will have more influence on their children than anything they might attempt to teach them verbally.”⁴ Furthermore, through their behavior and willingness to have a dialogue with their youth, parents provide positive gender models. Clinical psychologist Dr. Rachel Busman recommends men, “model a more healthy view of being a boy who can express emotions… [and handle] disappointments.”² Again for women, using positive language when you discuss your body and abilities can be a good expression of being internally anchored.^{12, 21} Introducing youth to others who have similar interests or achieved success through talent, rather than looks, can give a greater variety of examples to follow.^{2, 21}

Also, parents may help their children become media literate by watching TV shows together as a family and discussing what you see.^{2, 9,13,21} Media literacy is “the ability to access, analyze, evaluate, and create media in a variety of forms.”⁵ Individuals who are media literate may be better able to identify inaccurate information or negative bias within different forms of media. Dr. Steiner-Adair, a clinical psychologist and school consultant, suggests we “watch TV with [our children] and talk about what [we] see. Help [them] develop a critical eye through which to decode and filter media messages.”¹³ By initiating conversations with our youth about content they watch, parents can help youth recognize when media may be perpetuating negative sexual behaviors or gender stereotypes.³⁷ In this way, youth are reassured that focusing on their looks or changing themselves to “fit in” would be a waste of their talents.

For example, if a male character in a TV show is popular because he is a star athlete but your son has shown interest in drama, let him know other areas are valued too.² We could say, “You know, not all guys have to be jocks to be liked. There are many guys who are successful in the arts and people admire them for that.” Afterwards, introduce them to someone you know or people in history who succeeded in those areas. Similarly for our daughters, when a show objectifies female characters we could comment, “It’s too bad she feels like she has to dress and act like that to be popular. She is such a kind person; that is way more important than looks!”²¹ As children begin independently decoding false messages, over time they will gain greater confidence in themselves and their body’s capabilities.

While these suggestions can help, if you or your child have specific health goals such as losing weight, consult your doctor rather than “fad diets” or magazines.^{19, 21} Also, if mental health challenges such as depression or an eating disorder continue to disrupt your routine, tell someone you trust about what you are going through and contact an appropriate medical professional to begin the healing process.^{19, 21} Wise efforts to counter the effects of negative media can make a difference in helping our youth develop strong confidence, a healthy self-esteem, and self-compassion as they seek their true identity in today’s world.

Written by Lily Carroll, edited by Savannah Kroff, Professors Julie Haupt and Stephen F. Duncan, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. May 1, 2019.

Additional Reading and Resources

• You are Special by Max Lucado
• All About Puberty by KidsHealth
• Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys by Cara Natterson
• The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls by Valorie Schaefer
• Common Sense Media
• Center for Media Literacy (CML)
• REALgirl & REALwoman: Women Empowerment Programs by Anea Bogue, M.A.
• https://beautyredefined.org/

References

1. American Psychological Association, Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. (2007). Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report-full.pdf
2. Arky, B. (n.d.). How to build boys’ self-confidence. The Childmind Institute. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/how-to-build-boys-self-confidence/
3. Bandura, A. (2009). Social cognitive theory of mass communications. In J. Bryant & M. B. Oliver (Eds.), Media effects: Advances in theory and research (2nd ed., pp. 92–124). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
4. Bednar, R. L, Wells, M. G., & Peterson, S. R. (1995). Self-esteem:Paradoxes and innovations in clinical theory and practice (2nd ed.). Washington: American Psychological Association.
5. Center for Media Literacy. (n.d.). Media literacy: A definition and more. Retrieved from https://www.medialit.org/media-literacy-definition-and-more
6. Collins, R.L., Elliott, M. N., Berry, S. H., Kanouse, D. E., Kunkel, D., Hunter, S. B., & Miu, A. (2004). Watching sex on television predicts adolescent initiation of sexual behavior. Pediatrics, 114(3), 280-289. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1542/peds.2003-1065-L
7. Cribb, V. L., & Haase, A. M. (2016). Girls feeling good at school: School gender environment, internalization and awareness of socio-cultural attitudes associations with self-esteem in adolescent girls. Journal of Adolescence, 46, 107-114. doi:10.1016/j.adolescence.2015.10.019
8. Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). The mediating role of appearance comparisons in the relationship between media usage and self-objectification in young women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 39(4), 447-457. doi:10.1177/0361684315581841
9. Femiano, S. & Nickerson, M. (n.d.). How do media images if men affect our lives? Center for Media Literacy. Retrieved from http://www.medialit.org/reading-room/how-do-media-images-men-affect-our-lives
10. Ferguson, C. J., Winegard, B., & Winegard, B. M. (2011). Who is the fairest one of all? How evolution guides peer and media influences on female body dissatisfaction. Review of General Psychology, 15(1), 11-28. doi:10.1037/a0022607
11. Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117-140. doi:10.1177/001872675400700202
12. Fredrickson, B. L., & Roberts, T. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women's lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173-206. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.1997.tb00108.x
13. Garey, J. (n.d). 13 ways to boost your daughter’s self-esteem. The Child Mind Institute. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/13-ways-to-boost-your-daughters-self-esteem/
14. Gondoli, D. M., Corning, A. F., Salafia, E. H. B., Bucchianeri, M. M., & Fitzsimmons, E. E. (2011). Heterosocial involvement, peer pressure for thinness, and body dissatisfaction among young adolescent girls. Body Image, 8(2), 143-148. doi:10.1016/j.bodyim.2010.12.005
15. Jones, D. C., Vigfusdottir, T. H., & Lee, Y. (2004). Body image and the appearance culture among adolescent girls and boys: An examination of friend conversations, peer criticism, appearance magazines, and the internalization of appearance ideals. Journal of Adolescent Research, 19(3), 323-339. doi:10.1177/0743558403258847
16. (n.d.). Talking to your child about puberty. Nemours Foundation. Retrieved from https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/talk-about-puberty.html
17. Lawler, M., & Nixon, E. (2011). Body dissatisfaction among adolescent boys and girls: The effects of body mass, peer appearance culture and internalization of appearance ideals. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 40(1), 59-71. doi:10.1007/s10964-009-9500-2
18. Lindner, D., Tantleff-Dunn, S., Jentsch, F. (2012). Social comparison and the ‘circle of objectification.’ Sex Roles, 67(3-4), 222-235. doi:10.1007/s11199-012-0175-x
19. Lyness, D. (n.d.). Body image and self-esteem. The Nemours Foundation. Retrieved from https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/body-image.html
20. Malacane, M., & Martins, N. (2017). Sexual socialization messages in television programming produced for adolescents. Mass Communication & Society, 20(1), 23-46. doi:10.1080/15205436.2016.1203436
21. Mayo Clinic Staff. (n.d.). Healthy body image: Tips for guiding girls. The Mayo Clinic. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/healthy-body-image/art-20044668
22. McCall, C. (2012, March 4). The sexualization of women and girls. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-child-abuse/201203/the-sexualization-women-and-girls
23. McKay, T. (2013). Female self-objectification: Causes, consequences and prevention. McNair Scholars Research Journal, 6(1), Retrieved from https://commons.emich.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=https://www.google.com/&httpsredir=1&article=1065&context=mcnair
24. Menzel, J. E., & Levine, M. P. (2011). Embodying experiences and the promotion of positive body image: The example of competitive athletics. In R.M. Calogero, S. Tantleff-Dunn & J. K. Thompson (Eds.), Self-objectification in women: Causes, consequences, and counteractions (pp. 163-186). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
25. Muehlenkamp, J. J, & Saris-Baglama, R. N. (2002). Self-objectification and its psychological outcomes for college women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 26(4), 371-379. Doi: 10.1111/1471-6402.t01-1-00076
26. Rideout, V. J., Foehr, U. G., & Roberts, D. F. (2010). Generation M2: Media in the lives of 8- to 18-year-olds. Menlo Park: Kaiser Family Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.kff.org/entmedia/8010.cfm
27. Rodgers, R. F., McLean, S. A., & Paxton, S. J. (2015). Longitudinal relationships among internalization of the media ideal, peer social comparison, and body dissatisfaction: Implications for the tripartite influence model. Developmental Psychology, 51(5), 706-713. doi:10.1037/dev0000013
28. Rousseau, A., & Eggermont, S. (2018). Television and preadolescents’ objectified dating script: Consequences for self- and interpersonal objectification. Mass Communication & Society, 21(1), 71-93. doi:10.1080/15205436.2017.1341533
29. Seltzer, L. (2016, August 10). How to raise your kids with high - and healthy - self-esteem. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201608/how-raise-your-kids-high-and-healthy-self-esteem
30. Slater, A., & Tiggemann, M. (2015). Media exposure, extracurricular activities, and appearance-related comments as predictors of female adolescents’ self-objectification. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 39(3), 375-389. doi:10.1177/0361684314554606
31. Tiggemann, M., & Slater, A. (2015). The role of self-objectification in the mental health of early adolescent girls: Predictors and consequences. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 40(7), 704-711. doi:10.1093/jpepsy/jsv021
32. TV Parental Guidelines Monitoring Board. (n.d.). The TV parental guidelines: The ratings. [PDF file] Retrieved from http://www.tvguidelines.org/resources/TheRatings.pdf
33. Vandenbosch, L., & Eggermont, S. (2012). Understanding sexual objectification: A comprehensive approach toward media exposure and girls' internalization of beauty ideals, self-objectification, and body surveillance. Journal of Communication, 62(5), 869-887. doi:10.1111/j.1460-2466.2012.01667.x
34. Vandenbosch, L., Muise, A., Eggermont, S., & Impett, E. A. (2015). Sexualizing reality television: Associations with trait and state self-objectification. Body Image, 13(62-66), doi:10.1016/j.bodyim.2015.01.003
35. Vangeel, L., Vandenbosch, L., & Eggermont, S. (2018). The multidimensional self-objectification process from adolescence to emerging adulthood. Body Image, 26(60-69). doi:10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.05.005
36. Ward, L. M., & Friedman, K. (2006). Using TV as a guide: Associations between television viewing and adolescents’ sexual attitudes and behavior. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 16(1), 133– 156. doi:10.1111/j.1532-7795.2006.00125.x
37. Wood, J. T. (1995) Gendered Media: The influence of media on views of gender. University of North Carolina- Chapel Hill. Retrieved from https://www1.udel.edu/comm245/readings/GenderedMedia.pdf

Many voices call to us. As disciples of Christ, we understand “no man can serve two masters” (Matthew 6:24) and that we must “choose . . . this day whom [we] will serve” (Joshua 24:15, emphasis added). In today’s world, we understand that we must make positive choices every day, for “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). As a result, we need to filter the influences we allow into our lives and evaluate the voices we attend to.

Negative media messaging can alter how we view ourselves. When we expose ourselves daily to unrealistic, sexualized media ideals on television and spend time with those influences that principally focus on gaining validation from physical appearance alone, we can both lower our self-esteem and encourage ourselves to have a negative body image. No one is immune to these influences and their effects,¹¹ but our youth and children¹⁴ are particularly vulnerable as they are in a very critical and formative time in their lives⁵ and may be especially vulnerable to developing unrealistic expectations.

Unrealistic Expectations

The two most common negative messages within the media are the objectification (including sexual- and self-objectification) of women⁵ and the perpetuation of “manly” stereotypes.²⁰ Both of these portrayals are ways the world says men and women (or boys and girls) “should” act and have been shown to lower our self-esteem¹² and body image⁵ and distract us from our true divine nature.

An article within the Ensign recognized and warned of these messages stating, “Ours is a society of appearances. Much of what appeals to us is presented in such a way as to appear in its best light. So we tend to present ourselves in a similar way to each other for evaluation…Is she cute enough? Are they part of the popular crowd? In these views, children fail to appreciate others for what they are rather than what they merely appear to be. It is a false way to see the world.”⁷

Television shows objectify when scenes focus on a woman’s looks rather than her personality or talents as her primary avenue for romance and success.¹⁹ Concerning this, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland pointed out these unrealistic ideals put an "immense pressure" on women and girls, which can cause them to be self-critical of how they look. "In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard.”⁹

Similarly, many types of media tend to portray men as physically^{10, 20} and sexually aggressive, dominant, and in complete control of their emotions.²⁰ Men must be in charge of their surroundings and exude a powerful, domineering confidence that distances them from other people. Stereotypically, a true “manly man” does not demonstrate gentleness, sensitivity, or the desire to be a nurturing father.²⁰ When men, particularly young men, view “manly” stereotypes, it can also influence their perception of masculinity.¹⁰ For example, these influences may decrease the range of ways masculinity may be expressed by discouraging them from following natural talents that may lead to being an artist or member of a dance team rather than dreaming of being the starting quarterback on the hometown football team.

When we and our youth consume harmful media messages that focus on what we “should” act like or how we “should” look, we forget whose children we really are and how He would have us act.

Protective Influences

The Savior has reassured us many times that He “will not leave [us] comfortless,” but He “will come to [us]” (John 14:18) if we have faith and “doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36). Below are some ways we can fortify ourselves and our youth from the harmful impacts of negative media messaging while strengthening our individual relationships with and faith in the Savior.

• We are eternal beings with a divine nature and inherent individual worth. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that we are all “a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.”¹⁸ Power comes when sons or daughters of God realize their divine potential. Sister Elaine S. Dalton stated, "When we truly know that we are daughters [and sons] of God and have an understanding of our divine nature, it will be reflected in our countenance, our appearance, and our actions."³

Teaching our children about their divine nature and how their value is not skin deep can help develop a better understanding of their innate individual worth (D&C 18:10).⁸ This intrinsic, God-given power will be a great defensive strength for them as their confidence and value will be derived from within themselves rather than from outside sources.⁸

• Our bodies are gifts that require and deserve compassionate care. Healthy living habits can focus ourselves and our families on the value of caring for the bodies we have been given by our Heavenly Father. One sister, for example, shared how as she better used her agency to affect change in her physical body, she recognized the chance she had been given to maintain a healthy body weight and honor God through using her physical abilities for wise purposes.¹⁵

As parents, we can teach healthy living in our home by making it a family effort to make more nutritious meals or spend time together doing activities that get us outside or moving our bodies.⁷ Also, when appropriate, talk one on one with your child about the changes their body will go through once they begin puberty.^7,12,13 Hearing this information from a loving source can let your child know they can come to you if they have any questions rather than the media or peers.⁷ (See resources listed below.)

Encouraging our children to participate in embodying extracurricular activities such as sports, music, art, or academics gives them an opportunity to use their bodies to create, cultivate, and appreciate their God-given talents while making good friends.^6,7,13 “Friendships made in pursuit of learning and achieving can be among the most satisfying. These programs are often inexpensive, even free in many communities, and are superb means of aiding your child in gaining experiences, building confidence, and making friends.”⁷ Various Church programs sponsored by the youth organizations can also provide activities that incorporate healthy recreation.

• Watch media as a family and discuss what you see to help youth become media literate.^1,6 Clinical psychologist Dr. Steiner-Adair suggests parents “watch TV with [their children] and talk about what [they] see. Help [youth] develop a critical eye through which to decode and filter media messages.”⁶ Initiating conversations with our sons and daughters about the objectification and stereotypes they may find in media can provide excellent teaching opportunities to help them see that changing themselves to “fit in” with the world may rob them of a chance to realize their true identity of the person God knows they can be.

Here’s an example of a media literacy comment a parent might make: “You know, not all guys have to be jocks to be liked. Many of the men whom I most admire have different interests and used their talents to make a difference in this world.”¹ Another potential comment: “It’s too bad she feels like she has to dress and act like that to be popular. She is such a kind person; that is way more important than looks!”

• Be a clear example of having a healthy view and body image.^1,6,13,16 The Family: A Proclamation to the World declares, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another.”¹⁸ A respected author stated that “the degree to which parents have resolved their own questions of personal self-esteem will have more influence on their children than anything they might attempt to teach them verbally.”² Cheryl A. Esplin, a former counselor in the Primary Presidency, firmly echoes this counsel:

Teaching our children to understand is more than just imparting information…Teaching for understanding takes determined and consistent effort. It requires teaching by precept and by example and especially by helping our children live what they learn.⁴

Since children and adolescents tend to act upon what they observe rather than the words they hear, we as parents need to be an example to our children of self-love, positive body image, and individual worth. Also, because “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose,”¹⁸ it is essential that fathers and mothers model righteous ways each sex should live.^1,6 For fathers with sons, Dr. Rachel Busman recommends men “model a more healthy view of being a boy who can express emotions. I think the father and the other men in boys’ lives can model being expressive about emotions and showing boys how they handle disappointments.”¹

In regard to mothers and daughters, Dr. Steiner-Adair warns us about the “morality of orality,”⁶ which is when mothers demonstrate “good” versus “bad” relationships with food or with their own body image to their child. For example, a mother might say, “It was bad that I ate that whole hamburger, so now I am not going to eat dessert,” or “I’m lucky your dad still likes me even though I’m overweight.” Appearance-based conversations with mothers can have the same kinds of negative effects on youth as appearance-based conversations with peers since both conversations emphasize personal value in a way that objectifies their own physical features without looking at the whole person.⁶

Conclusion

Unfortunately, the same power that lets us scatter sunshine and light into the lives of others can also seep darkness and negative influences into our own. The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet warns:

The information and entertainment provided through these media can increase your ability to learn, communicate, and become a force for good in the world. However, some information and entertainment can lead you away from righteous living. Choose wisely when using media because whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. (p. 11)¹⁷

One way we seldom acknowledge media’s harmful influence is through the types of TV shows and movies we view. Though fictitious, this compelling entertainment is brimming with sexual content[1] and warped ideas of how we “should” interact with others and view ourselves. We have been counselled to seek after anything that is “virtuous, lovely…or praiseworthy” (Article of Faith 13), and for better or worse, the actions and attitudes observed from characters on our favorite TV shows have an effect on our behavior and minds whether we are consciously aware of it or not.

Written by Lily Carroll, edited by Brittany Passmore, and Professors Julie Haupt and Stephen F. Duncan, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. September 16, 2019.

Further Resources:

• Report of the Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls by the American Psychological Association
• You are Special by Max Lucado
• Teen Talk of Canada: Body Image
• Common Sense Media
• To Men of the Priesthood by Gordon B. Hinckley
• What Manner of Men? by Elder D. L. Hallstrom
• Boys Need Heroes Close By by Spencer W. Kimball
• Taming the Media by Starla A. Butler

References

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