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Dealing with Infertility and Childlessness

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Latter-Day Saints Perspective

One in every six couples will never be able to conceive a child. This can be a very painful realization for a couple who has dreamed of having offspring. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says, "We declare that God's commandment for his children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force."

Although some couples are not biologically able to become parents, they can become parents in every other sense of the word.

The Hurt of Childlessness

Couples who are not able to have children may experience a wide spectrum of feelings—jealousy, despair, envy, isolation, and bitterness. They may feel singled out for an ordeal few others seem to experience, and they might find it difficult to fit into social circles where everyone else has children. The anguish can go so deep that seeing a baby can feel like a knife in their hearts.

Men and women tend to react somewhat differently to infertility. Women often experience profound grief and sadness. They tend to cry a lot and to reduce their anxiety by talking about what they're experiencing. Men, on the other hand, express fewer anguished feelings and seem to be less affected by being childless. They generally don't feel as free to talk about their feelings and tend to have less opportunity to discuss them with friends.

Childlessness can cause stress on a couple's personal, social, and sex lives. The anger and disappointment that often accompanies childlessness can rub off on the marital companionship, and cause couples to blame one another. Many couples suffer with depression which in turn can lead them to withdraw themselves from friends and family. Going to a party or family gathering where children are present can cause the pain of childlessness to surface. As a result couples avoid these types of situations. When couples place procreation as the focus of their intimacy for an extended period of time, sexual intercourse becomes solely a way to create children; it no longer has the element of love, affection, or spontaneity.

What Can Family Members Do to Help?

Couples struggling with childlessness need support from family members and friends. However, it's important not to be intrusive into this very private dimension of a marriage. Here are a few tips to help the ones you love.

  • Show understanding and acceptance.
  • Listen without giving advice.
  • Let the couple know you are there for them.
  • Don't ask a woman if she is pregnant.
  • Give the couple respect and privacy.
  • Don't offer false hope.
  • Don't joke about infertility.
  • Don't suggest solutions, such as infertility treatments, adoption, or foster parenting. These are options that should be privately discussed between a couple.
  • Don't offer the commonly repeated misinformation that a woman who adopts often gets pregnant soon after.
  • Learn about infertility so you can be an informed listener.

What Options Do Couples Have?

Couples can parent children in many ways. Some of the options include the following:

  • Adopt an infant.
  • Adopt a child with special needs.
  • Adopt a child internationally.
  • Become a foster parent (and possibly adopt the child later on).
  • Nurture the children of extended family members, friends, and neighbors.

Infant Adoption

For many couples, adopting an infant is their first choice. This option can take years, and most adoption agencies have criteria that are very restrictive. Agencies can discuss their eligibility requirements and placement options with you. Infant adoption also can be very costly. It's important to talk to an adoption professional and make sure you're aware of all costs.

Adopting Children with Special Needs

The definition of "special needs" varies from agency to agency and state to state. Generally, it means a child with one or more health or emotional problems, a history of neglect or abuse, prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol, other conditions that may lead to problems, or siblings that need to be adopted as a group.

Generally, it's easier and less expensive to adopt a child with special needs because fewer couples are interested.

International Adoption

The international adoption process can be complex and expensive. There are two basic ways to adopt internationally. The first is through a licensed U.S. adoption agency. The second is through a private attorney. Couples using an attorney often have a particular child in mind.

If you choose to use an agency, find one that is reputable and has experience with international programs. If you want to adopt a child from a specific country, be sure you choose an agency that works with that country.

However you proceed, be patient with the process. It often takes several years and many thousands of dollars.

Below are suggestions for choosing an agency or an attorney:

  • Contact several agencies.
  • Investigate the agency or attorney by contacting the Better Business Bureau, state licensing specialists, and the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys.
  • Read all of the material you receive.
  • Ask a lot of questions.
  • Contact references.
  • Talk to other couples who have adopted internationally.

Foster Parenting

Foster parents share their home, time, energy, and love, with a child, youth, or sibling group in need of a temporary home. To be approved as foster parents, you'll go through background checks, home studies, training, and paperwork.

State and private agencies try to return a foster child to his or her parents if possible, but foster parents sometimes have the option to adopt a foster child. Foster adoption is the least expensive type of adoption, usually involving little or no cost. States often provide subsidies to couples who adopt after being foster parents.

Living without Children

There are many ways to influence the lives of children without becoming full-time parents. Below are some suggestions:

  • Volunteer to coach for a girls' or boys' sports team.
  • Volunteer to teach youth for a local religious group.
  • Take a special interest in nieces, nephews, or the children of friends.
  • Volunteer for a Boy Scout or Girl Scout program in your area.
  • Become a Big Brother or Big Sister (see http://www.bbbsa.org).
  • Volunteer for a learn-to-read program.
  • Volunteer in an orphanage in your area or in another country.
  • Volunteer as a tutor at your local school.
  • Volunteer to help during activities at a local school.
  • Teach youth about your career.
  • Volunteer to help with children at a family crisis center.

Written by Jeremy S. Boyle, Research Assistant, edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Suggested Websites

Suggested Books

Buckley, B. (2001). The Greatest Gift: Reflections on International and Domestic Adoption. Berkeley, CA: Creative Arts Book Co.

Wolff, J. (2000). Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother. Kansas City, KS: Midpoint Trade Books.

Johnston, P. I. (1994). Adopting After Infertility. Indianapolis, IN: Perspectives Press.

Nelson-Erichsen, J., & Erichsen, H. R. (2000). How to Adopt Internationally: A Guide to Agency-Directed and Independent Adoptions. Fort Worth, TX: Mesa House.

Adamec C. A. (1998). Is Adoption for You?: The Information You Need to Make the Right Choice. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Schalesky, M. M. (2001). Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility. Bloomington, MN: Bethany House.

References

  1. Abbey, A., Andrews, F. M., & Halman, L. J. (1991). Genders role in responses to infertility. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 15, 295–316.
  2. Adamec, C. A. (2000). The Encyclopedia of Adoption, Second Edition. New York: Facts on File.
  3. Casey Family Programs (2002). Foster care info.
  4. Daniluk, J. C. (1996). When treatment fails: The transition to biological childlessness for infertile women. Women and Therapy, 19(2), 81–98.
  5. Council on International Children's Services. (JCICS). International Adoption.
  6. Menning, B. E. (1977). Infertility: A guide for the childless couple. New York: Prentice Hall.
  7. Salzer, L. (1991). Surviving infertility: A compassionate guide through the emotional crisis of infertility. New York: HarperPerennial
  8. Utah Foster Care Foundation. The requirements.
  9. Wirtberg, I. (1999). Trying to become a family, or, parents without children. Marriage and Family Review, 28(3/4), 121–133.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World says, "We declare that God's commandment for his children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force." For couples who view having children with this sacred perspective, infertility can be especially painful. Many experience significant physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial strain.

One in every six couples experiences infertility, which generally is defined as failure to conceive after a year of regular sexual relations without contraception.8 Couples facing this challenge have many choices, including seeking medical help, adopting, foster parenting, or remaining childless. Each couple, with the help of God, must decide together what's best for them. Whatever direction they choose, they can move beyond the painful feelings to find joy and satisfaction.

The Experience of Childlessness

Craig and Linda Evers experienced so many miscarriages during their fourteen-year marriage that they lost count. After Linda almost died of a tubal pregnancy, the Evers decided parenthood must not be meant for them. Feelings of bitterness followed, which took them years to overcome. Linda experienced feelings of sadness and envy whenever she saw a baby, and Craig found it particularly painful to accept the reality that his name would die with him.7

Another couple found childlessness made them "stick out like a sore thumb" and feel like "an oddball couple".5 One woman said, "Every week I seem to hear about someone else who is pregnant, and each time I hear someone is pregnant I feel like I've died inside. . . . No one will ever understand this, but it's like every time they give life, in my mind it is like giving death" (Daniluk, 1996, p. 86). For another woman, entering a maternity ward was too painful: "I can't go into this happy place where there's all these little babies. . . . It still hurts me, it's like somebody sticking a knife through my heart".5

Men and women tend to react somewhat differently to infertility. Women often experience profound grief and sadness. They tend to cry a lot and try to reduce their anxiety by talking about what they're experiencing. One study found that wives typically see infertility as more stressful than do their husbands. It also found women report more disruption of their personal, social, and sex lives.1 The same study found infertile women blamed themselves for infertility more than their husbands.1

Men, on the other hand, express fewer anguished feelings and seem to be less affected by being childless. They might feel they need to protect their wives, and if they express their feelings it will only increase her distress.11 Generally, men don't feel as free to talk about their feelings and have fewer chances to discuss them with friends. Men typically have a hard time publicly expressing their emotions and tend to feel alone, unaware that others are suffering like they are.9

It's important for couples to be aware that each spouse is likely to deal with infertility differently. With awareness, they can be alert to each other's reactions and sensitively find ways to support each other.

How Family and Friends Can Provide Support

If someone in your family is experiencing childlessness, they likely need thoughtful help and consideration. Unless you have gone through infertility yourself it may be very difficult for you to know how to react. Here are a few tips:

  • Understand that handling infertility is a process. There are no easy answers, and the feelings can't be resolved overnight. Sometimes childless couples will feel like talking, but other times they won't. Be patient and try to show understanding and acceptance.
  • Be a good listener. Listen to the pain, sorrow and frustration that the couple may express. Don't give advice unless asked. Offering unsolicited advice, however compassionate you might think you're being, is insensitive. Just listening without interjecting your own thoughts is one of the most helpful gifts you can offer to a childless couple.
  • Let the couple know that you're there for them and support them. Many couples feel alone and alienated in a family-oriented world. If you find yourself at a loss for words, simply say, "I wish I knew what to say" or "Is their anything I can do?" Don't be silent, because silence is often interpreted as rejection.
  • Don't ask a woman struggling with infertility if she's pregnant. She'll let you know if and when she is.
  • Give the couple the respect and privacy they need, but keep in contact so they know you haven't abandoned them.
  • Don't avoid telling a childless couple about your own pregnancy. It may be painful to them, but it will hurt worse if they hear the news from someone else.
  • Be aware that people react differently to infertility. Some may occasionally isolate themselves, especially from activities that involve children. Be sensitive to their reactions in general.
  • Don't offer couples false hopes, such as "I'm sure you'll be pregnant within the year." And don't offer success stories of other once-infertile couples.
  • Don't joke about a couple's infertility; let them be the ones to joke about it.
  • Don't suggest the reason a couple can't have children is that they don't believe they can. Also don't tell them that God must not have found them suitable for parenthood.
  • Learn about infertility so you can be an informed listener. Don't learn so you can teach an infertile couple. They already know more than you about infertility. They're experiencing it. (Salzer, 1991, pp. 71–75)

Life With or Without Children?

When couples realize they won't be having biological children, it's time to decide their next step. The options are many, and all can bring joy and fulfillment.

Couples might ask themselves: Should we try adopting an infant? Should we adopt an older child? A child with special needs? Should we adopt a child internationally? Should we become foster parents? Should we even bring children into our home? These options are discussed below.

Note: The following information on adoption and foster care is for the United States. For those looking for information about adoption in other countries, please visit an adoption agency or a social services department in your country. You can also find adoption agencies in your area by searching online.

General Adoption Information

To find a list of adoption agencies in your area, visit the National Council for Adoption website at https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/. Another good website is The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) at http://www.adoption.org/adopt/national-adoption-clearinghouse.php.

Infant Adoption

The first choice for most childless couples is adopting an infant. But in the United States very few infants are available compared to the number of couples wanting to adopt. Abortion, birth control, and a rise in single mothers choosing to keep their child are some of the likely reasons for a drop in available infants.2

Adopting a healthy infant can take years, and most adoption agencies have restrictive criteria. Some agencies accept applicants who are older than 40, but most don't. Some agencies require that the couple have no other children and be unable to bear children. Others require that one parent not work outside the home for at least six months after the adoption. Agencies placing infants will discuss their eligibility rules and placement options with you (www.adopting.org, who can adopt section, ¶ 1).

Infant adoption also can be very costly, usually ranging from about $8,000 to $28,000 or even more, depending on services provided, travel expenses, birthmother reimbursements, medical expenses, and individual state requirements (www.adopting.org, adoption costs section, ¶ 2). Some agencies charge based on a percentage of your last year's tax return (LDS Family Services,infant adoption section, ¶ 4). Be sure you talk to an adoption professional so that you know what fees you'll have to pay.

Adopting Children with Special Needs

Special needs adoption is another option. "Special needs" refers to conditions that make a child difficult to place, such as health problems, emotional problems, a history of neglect or abuse, prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol, and siblings that need to be adopted as a group (LDS Family Services, special needs section, ¶ 1). Many children may have been sexually abused, and many have lived in foster care for at least one year.2

Couples interested in adopting a special needs child are required to meet many of the same criteria as with infant adoption. However, age limitations usually don't apply and generally there's no limit on the number of children that can be adopted (LDS Family Services, special needs section, ¶ 2).

According to David Brodzinsky and colleagues, once a special needs child is adopted, five key areas are important to the outcome: (1) Integrating the child into the family; (2) forming attachments and supporting the child's grief process; (3) maintaining realistic expectations regarding child behavior and family functioning; (4) managing troublesome child behavior; and (5) utilizing supports and social services.3 If you're leaning toward this option, do plenty of research so you can make a good decision. If you decide to go forward, plan on doing lots more research and possibly specialized parental instruction.

International Adoption

Many couples choose to adopt from other countries because it usually doesn't take as long as adopting a healthy white infant – though it sometimes can take as long or longer. Others choose this option because they're over 40. For some, international adoption is their first choice because they want to give children from another country a better life.

Couples can adopt an overseas child in two ways: through a licensed U.S. adoption agency or through an attorney. The attorney option is used when a couple has a specific child in mind.2

The following tips are adapted from the website of the Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS). Many of these ideas are useful for all types of adoption.

Understand the process

International adoption can be complex, paperwork-intensive, and expensive. Costs range from a low of $12,000 to a high of $30,000. The waiting time for international adoption, including a home study and Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services (formerly INS) approval process, can take from one to three years.

You can complete an international adoption on your own or with the help of an adoption attorney or an adoption agency. In all cases you'll be required to undergo a home study. A home study is when a home study provider (usually a licensed social worker) interviews prospective adoptive parents at their home. Depending on your state's requirements, you can usually use either a home study agency or an individual licensed social worker.

As you decide on countries you might want to adopt from, educate yourself on the countries' cultures, reasons children are placed in institutions in that country, and the most common medical problems of that region.

Be patient with international adoption. It is impossible to predict how long it will take to complete the process. Sometimes couples get close only to find political changes make access suddenly more difficult. Countries also change their laws governing adoption from time to time.

Choose an agency or attorney

If you choose to work with an agency, find one with experience and a good reputation in the international adoption process. Here are some guidelines for finding a good agency:

  • Contact several agencies. Some adoption agencies deal only with one or two countries, so if you have a specific country in mind, that may narrow your options.
  • Talk to other adoptive parents. Talk to several couples to get a real-life perspective on what the adoption process is like.
  • Investigate each agency. Contact the State Licensing Specialist in the state where the agency operates and ask: (1) Is the agency's license is current? (2) Have any major complaints been lodged against the agency? Also call the Better Business Bureau to check complaints.
  • Read all the material you receive. You'll get a lot of paperwork from each agency, and you should read all of it. It's important to understand what they're asking you to sign. Read the fine print.
  • Ask for a fee sheet. Make sure you know the agency's fees and its refund policy. Often fees are non-refundable, even if an adoption falls through.

If you choose to work with an attorney and don't have one in mind, consult the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. You would choose an attorney most likely if you've already identified a specific child to adopt. Research several attorneys, ask questions, contact references, and make an educated decision.

Foster Parenting and Foster Adoption

"On any given day in America, over 550,000 children and youth are in foster care. The goal for over 230,000 of these children is to be reunified with a parent or principal caregiver".4 These children need a safe place to live until they can go back to their birth parents.4

Becoming a foster parent means you're willing to share your home, time, energy, and love with a child, youth, or sibling group in need of a temporary or permanent home. These children need caring, capable, and supportive adults in their lives.4

If you want to become foster parents, you'll generally need to go through several different types of screening and lots of paperwork. You'll also need to become certified, which involves many hours of training. And you'll need to provide references and medical information, prove a stable and sufficient income, and have a current driver's license. All individuals living in your home who are over 18 will have to submit to a criminal background screening to check for any felony record or any misdemeanors involving sexual offenses, pornography, prostitution, domestic violence or child abuse. Foster parents are required to keep information shared by the foster care agency confidential and are required to sign a statement of confidentiality. Foster parents cannot use corporal punishment and need to show patience and the ability to make a commitment to the children in need.10

Screening includes a home study, where a social worker visits your home to make sure it's clean, in good repair, free of health hazards, meets fire codes, and provides normal comforts. Each foster child must have a separate bed, and no more than four children can share one bedroom. Foster parents must also provide plans for emergencies and disasters.10

In some cases foster parents can adopt a foster child. Out of the 550,000 children and youth in America in foster care, more than 130,000 cannot return to their birth parents and are waiting to be adopted.4 Foster adoption is the least expensive type of adoption, usually involving little or no cost. Most states provide subsidies to parents adopting a foster child.10

For more information on becoming a foster parent and for listings of U.S. foster care programs, visit The National Foster Parent Association website at http://www.nfpainc.org .

A Productive Life Without Children

Sometimes couples discover they cannot adopt or foster parent because of their age, income limitations, or other reasons. Some try to adopt then decide to stop their efforts. And some might foster parent for awhile and then decide it's not for them.

For these couples, other opportunities abound to make a difference in the lives of children. Communities are always in need of people who will help with child-oriented programs. Here are some suggestions:

  • Get involved in a Big Sister or Big Brother program in your area.
  • Volunteer for a boy or girl scout program in your area.
  • Become a mentor at a local school.
  • Become a volunteer court advocate for a child in the foster care system (in most states these programs are called CASA -- Court-Appointed Special Advocate).
  • Volunteer to coach for a girls' or boys' sports team.
  • Volunteer to teach youth in your church.
  • Become more involved in the lives of your nieces and nephews, such as tutoring them, taking them on outings, and having them stay overnight occasionally to give siblings a break from each other (p. 159).8
  • Help out in an orphanage in your area or possibly in another country.
  • Volunteer for a Learn-to-read program.

Written by Jeremy S. Boyle, Research Assistant, edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

References

  1. Abbey, A., Andrews, F. M., & Halman, L. J. (1991). Genders role in responses to infertility. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 15, 295–316.
  2. Adamec, C. A. (2000). The Encyclopedia of Adoption, Second Edition. New York: Facts on File.
  3. Brodzinsky, D. M., Smith, D. W. & Brodzinsky A. (1998). Children's adjustment to adoption: developmental and clinical issues. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
  4. Casey Family Programs (2002). Foster care info.
  5. Daniluk, J. C. (1996). When treatment fails: The transition to biological childlessness for infertile women. Women and Therapy, 19(2), 81–98.
  6. Council on International Children's Services. (JCICS). International Adoption.
  7. Evers, Craig. (1989, February). "So How Many Children Do You Have?". Ensign.
  8. Menning, B. E. (1977). Infertility: A guide for the childless couple. New York: Prentice Hall.
  9. Salzer, L. (1991). Surviving infertility: a compassionate guide through the emotional crisis of infertility. New York: HarperPerennial
  10. Utah Foster Care foundation. The requirements.
  11. Wirtberg, I. (1999). Trying to become a family, or, parents without children. Marriage and Family Review, 28(3/4), 121–133.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World says, "The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force".4

Although many couples are blessed with children, many are not. Those who remain childless despite earnest efforts may experience feelings of great loss and even feelings of unworthiness, however unfounded. Elder Russell M. Nelson has taught that Heavenly Father is aware of these struggles and that he understands the yearnings of childless couples.9

Ardeth G. Kapp, a former General Young Women's president who has experienced childlessness firsthand, said that "peace of mind comes from keeping an eternal perspective".5 She said that for some women motherhood may be delayed but not denied. For those who accept the gospel of Jesus Christ and live righteously, motherhood will be an eternal reality.5 She also offered these words:

We who do not have children can wallow in self-pity—or we can experience "birth pains" as we struggle to open the passageway to eternal life for ourselves and others. I bear testimony to you that instead of wrapping your empty and aching arms around yourself, you can reach out to others. As you do so, one day you will even be able to hold your friends' babies and rejoice. You will be able to rejoice with the mother of a new bride and the mother of a newly called missionary, and even with your friends the day they become grandmothers.5

President Spencer W. Kimball gave similar counsel:

We realize, of course, there are some women who cannot have children, some men who cannot reproduce. The Lord will take care of all that if we have done everything in our power, if we have done what we could to make ourselves normal and productive and to follow the commandments of the Lord.6

Elder Nelson taught that all men and women can enjoy the spiritual rewards of parenting, whether they're biological parents or not. "Nurturing the young, comforting the frightened, protecting the vulnerable, teaching and giving encouragement need not—and should not—be limited to our own children".8

All Couples Can Parent Children

Becoming biological mothers and fathers isn't the only way to parent. An adoption is a viable option for many couples. "Adoption of parentless children brings joy to many hearts," said President Kimball.6 President George Albert Smith taught that those who open their homes to a child without parents will rejoice in the growth and development of the child and will find that "other blessings of our Father will be added to them in proportion to their good works".11

In 2001, the First Presidency made this statement about adoption:

We affirm the sanctity of life and its importance in God's eternal plan. We honor adoption as a positive way to provide children the blessings of a family and commend the many single women and men who choose adoption for their newborn infants. We appreciate the families who provide adoptive homes for these infants. Likewise, we acknowledge the many families who open their hearts and homes to adopt children who are older or have medical and other special needs. We also commend government and civic leaders who defend and promote adoption and other measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family.3

Another option is to become foster parents. Great fulfillment can come to those who nurture children who've been separated from their biological parents. "Women [and men] who do such work can find joy in it, and bring happiness, and wholesome influence into the lives of children".1

Although couples may choose to adopt, take foster children into their homes, or find other ways to be a parent, for many couples the grief over not being able to have children can last for a long time. "But one day you will gain an eternal perspective, and you will feel peace not pain, hope not despair".5

Written by Jeremy S. Boyle, Research Assistant, edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

References

  1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (2000). The latter-day saint woman. In The latter-day saint woman: Basic manual for women, part a. (pp. 97–107). Salt Lake City, UT: Author.
  2. Dew, S. L. (2001, November). Are we not all mothers? Ensign, 96–97.
  3. The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (2001, 16 November). News release: First presidency supports national adoption month and national family week.
  4. The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995, November). The family: A proclamation to the world. Ensign, 102.
  5. Kapp, A. G. (1989, February). Just the two of us—for now. Ensign, 21–23.
  6. Kimball, S. W. (1982). Family relationships. In E. L. Kimball (Ed.) The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball (pp. 324-251). Salt Lake City: Bookcraft.
  7. Maxwell, N. A. (1978, May). The Women of God. Ensign, 10–12.
  8. Nelson, R. M. (1987, November). Lessons from Eve. Ensign, 86–89.
  9. Nelson, R. M. (1990, November). Choices. Ensign, 73–75.
  10. Pinegar, P. P. (1997, May). Caring for the Souls of Children. Ensign, 13–14.
  11. Smith, G. A. (1996). The gospel of love. In R. McIntosh & S. McIntosh (Eds.) The Teachings of George Albert Smith (pp. 134–148). Salt Lake City: Bookcraft.
  12. Young, B. (1886). Source of intelligence- Laws of the gospel etc. In Journal of Discourses 8, 208–209. London: Latter-day Saint Book Depot.