Immunized Against Infidelity: "Affair-proofing" Your Marriage Main Article LDS Perspective Expanded Version

Format Article For Printing Email Article Rate this article

The Family: A Proclamation to the World emphasizes the proven wisdom that men and women should "honor marital vows with complete fidelity" (¶ 7). Marriage is a sacred commitment, and fidelity is a basic component of keeping that commitment. The importance of fidelity is emphasized throughout the Judeo-Christian scriptural tradition. In one of the ten most familiar verses of scripture, the Lord commanded: "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14, Luke 18:20, Romans 13:9).

An Old Testament Example

The Old and New Testament both condemn infidelity as a serious sin. When the Lord spoke to the prophet Jeremiah, He promised to send a curse and captivity upon the people of Israel because they had become liars and adulterers. The Lord speaks of infidelity as the ultimate mark of their wickedness, saying that even the prophets of Jerusalem "commit adultery, and walk in lies." Because of their adulterous ways, the Lord compares the children of Israel to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah (Jeremiah 29:22-23).

A New Testament Example

In Galatians, Paul warned against weighty sins he called "works of the flesh." Such works include adultery, fornication, idolatry, witchcraft, heresies, envyings, and murder. About these sins, Paul wrote, "they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:19-21).

The Words of Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ took scriptural teachings about adultery one step further. He taught that infidelity in thought and desire is emotional adultery-a serious sin in itself. He said, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

Preventing Infidelity

You can safeguard your marriage against infidelity by loving your spouse, treating your marriage as a high priority, and making a conscious decision to honor your marital vows no matter what difficulties might arise. In Genesis and in Mark, it says that a man shall "leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:7-8).

In the scriptures of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, husbands and wives are commanded to love each other. Doctrine and Covenants 42 says, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else" (D&C 42:22). Building loving bonds within a marriage will help husbands and wives stay faithful to each other.

After Infidelity

Serious as it is, infidelity is not unforgivable. And it does not always mean a marriage must end. Christ taught that we can repent and rebuild our lives. In John chapter 8, a woman caught in adultery is brought to Christ. Her accusers want to stone her according to the law of Moses. But Christ shows mercy, saying to the accusing crowd, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

The woman's accusers leave without casting a stone, and Jesus says to her, "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John 8:3-11). Christ was willing to forgive infidelity and allow a second chance.